My Clueless First Friend

Episode 12

No one can remain clueless forever, although there's some room for debate as to whether Takada was ever truly as oblivious as he appeared. That would make his actions in this penultimate episode (that's right, this is a thirteen!) less a product of him getting a clue and more of him deciding to act on it. It probably doesn't matter either way, because if Nishimura had thought he might have a crush on her earlier on it just would have scared her off; by this point, she's comfortable enough with both him and herself to be open to the possibilities.

And what possibilities they are! After seeing Yukiko's friend kiss her boyfriend, both Takada and Nishimura are faced with both the uncomfortable aftereffects of accidental voyeurism and the growing possibility of wanting to engage in some romance themselves. For Nishimura, this is a brand-new revelation and not one she's sure she knows what to do with. It's one thing for her to have friends and quite another for one of those friends to be more. Although she doesn't say it, we can see that she's at least a little afraid of changing the status quo with Takada. Friends may last longer than romances, and while she's made a lot of progress, now having gone from zero friends to three, one of whom used to be one of her bullies, she's understandably leery of major changes. But at the same time, she's interested. When she ends up sitting next to Kitagawa instead of Takada after the new year, she's visibly disappointed that the school legend about seatmates-turned-romantic-partners won't apply, and even though she fended off Takada's desire to kiss her on Christmas, the idea didn't repulse her.

Kudos to Takada for asking permission first, by the way. Not only does it show that he respects Nishimura and her comfort level, but it also shows some self-awareness on his part. He's built his character as oblivious, or appearing to be oblivious to little details and people's intended meaning, but when push comes to shove, he does know how to act. Everything he's done from episode one has been to make Nishimura feel more comfortable, and with every bully, he's deflected, he's shown how much he likes her. Remember when he burst into tears about her mother's death, fearing that he'd inadvertently bullied her by making much of the whole “grim reaper” nickname? That was our clue that Nishimura's happiness and comfort will always come first with him, whether it's asking if he can kiss her or if he can hold her hand. He respects her, and even now that's not something that she's used to.

And that's just it: if you're bullied long enough, you stop expecting people to be kind or to respect you. You start to think you deserve it, that somehow, it's all your fault, even if a small piece of you knows that you couldn't help the way you were born. Takada has slowly been showing Nishimura that she never deserved to be bullied. Kasahara's growth has been into a person who recognizes that what she did to Nishimura was wrong and more about her than the other girl. Umi and Hino help just by being there (and Umi by being a good wingman; I love her orchestrating the seat change at the end), and all of it has helped to show Nishimura that she's allowed to have friends, and maybe even a crush or to be the object of someone else's.

For my money, that's the true strength of this series. It isn't easy to come through a situation like Nishimura was in before Takada came along. You may always have that little bullied kid inside of you. But all it takes is one person to break the curse, to force the sun through the clouds. The final episode next week looks like a time skip and we may see that Nishimura will always carry that hurt. But we should also see that Takada's friendship and affection helped turn things around in a way that goes beyond school, and to help Nishimura see that she's worth it.

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My Clueless First Friend is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.