My Clueless First Friend

Episode 4

What's the sign that Takada is truly a good friend to Nishimura? When he realizes this week that the nickname “Grim Reaper,” no matter how cool it is to him, may be hurtful to her and breaks down in tears because he's afraid he's harmed his friend. It's the moment that stood out the most to me from the first English-language volume of the manga, and it's just as powerful here. We've known from the start that Nishimura lives in a single-parent household, but that doesn't appear to have registered to the carefree Takada, so when he realizes that her mother is dead, it hits him hard. Even more upsetting, though, is when she tells him that she sometimes feels like it's her fault that her mother died, as if the two of them couldn't exist at the same time. She feels, in fact, like a Shinigami.

Nishimura prefaces this explanation with the statement that she hasn't told anyone at school about it, but that doesn't mean that they're unaware of her family situation. In fact, it's likely that someone in her class knows, and that they started the hurtful nickname because of it, possibly based on something a parent said in their hearing. Whether the rest of the class is cognizant of the vicious nature of the nickname almost doesn't matter at this point, because the damage has been done. In that one awful moment of clarity, Takada realizes this, and the thought that he did anything to harm Nishimura is something he just can't handle. And that's more than fair – it's a horrible feeling and a lot to take in, especially for a kid as sheltered and happy as Takada. He thought he was helping, so feeling like he was part of the problem all along is gut-wrenching.

I do think this at least implies that Takada isn't quite the oblivious Pollyanna he's appeared to be. He may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he's still aware that the other kids have been ostracizing Nishimura. He still mostly walks on the sunny side of the street, but he's not oblivious to the shadows, which in some ways makes me like him as a character even more, because he's trying above all else. When Nishimura takes his hand as they walk home, she's showing him that he means more to her than any missteps he's made. She likes him for who he is, just as he likes her for herself, and they're able to reverse their roles of comforter and comforted to prove just how solid their friendship is.

Grandma seems very aware of that. She's also not rushing to marry the two of them off or even to make jokes in their hearing about them “dating,” which I really appreciate – she understands that her granddaughter is happier than she's seen her, and that Takada is the reason for it. Of course, that doesn't mean that she's above teasing her son about his daughter's new bestie, but that feels more like she's specifically ribbing him for his assumptions and worries about his eleven-year-old than like she actually believes anything romantic is going on. Gran seems a bit more aware of how Nishimura was really doing than Dad, and she just appears to be genuinely happy that she's got a good friend.

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My Clueless First Friend is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.